my sandwich contains:
a portion of ham, a slice of cheese, a smidgen of mayo and
a thick layer of disappointment
It was a risk, a calculated risk, how well a sandwich, not bought but made, would be.
I took a gamble at 7am, staring at the last slices in the open bag of bread.
I took a gamble at the mayo left out all night, warm to the touch, slightly sweating round the edges
think of the money you'll save, I thought,
how positive, how frugal, how healthy.
I took the ham out the fridge, intentionally ignoring the thick lumps of potential gristle.
I cut the cheap economy extra mature cheddar thinking, it'll be alright.
I made that sandwich, cling filmed it up, popped it in my bag and,
forgot about it.
I ate half the sandwich.
Betrayed, by all the good a homemade sandwich could be and do and represent, that sandwich was a great disappointment.
Worse still it was all the things I had a feared a homemade sandwich could be.
Today I am having a day off from sandwich making, today I am recovering from the trauma.
Today I am buying a sandwich.
And let that be the last we ever say about it.